No one loves denial more than I do. But after 25 holiday seasons where a negative cost benefit analysis has been duly noted, not just in financial terms for our family, but in terms of spiritual growth and the particular dysfunctions of our family, it is time to Quit Thee Like Men. Christmas is a nuisance.
We've raised ye olde tannenbaum to idol status, our family centered observances to idol status, getting gifts to idol status, and selfish waste is the end product.
On a related note, in the spirit of these observations, I insisted the twenty-somethings-who-still-live-under-their-parents'-roof must show proof of sound financial stewardship before heading off to bring home a $50-$75 piece of living homage to pointless traditions, a practice they took up after their parents' sizable debt paying for their private CHRISTIAN college educations (idolized that too, I now see) convinced me to get a fake tree until all debt was paid off. This child-centered home actually saw the children rise up in rebellion and bring the tree home themselves at this suggestion.
In keeping with this yearly coup, yet another one was staged Tuesday night, ignoring a father's stated contingencies. The showdown on the driveway ensued, to my great consternation, offense and spiritual detriment.
So, when it says in Matthew 5 that an offender is to go and reconcile with the offended party, WHERE, I must ask, does it describe said reconciliation to be a mere, happy, jaunty, glib little "hey, Mom. About the other night, uh, sorry."
Whoever said that "saying sorry is the be-all, end-all, definitive answer" to the world's problem with unforgiveness... was an ass.
The only way to fix an offense, really, is to ask the one offended, "Can we talk? I'm interested in hearing how you're feeling about what happened. I'm truly sorry, and want to hear your heart on the matter."
Listening to, dialoguing, and hearing another person's state of mind is the only THE ONLY way to repair emotional harm.
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